Wednesday, February 27, 2013

Whiskey Blog

My night was supposed to be filled with comedy and productive blogging.  But instead, I resort back to this shitty diary like blog.  Here's the truth...I've been watching "House of Cards" on Netflix lately.  You ever see those shows where the manly men drink whiskey in like 2 in the afternoon and continue on with their work?  Well, I thought I could be that kind of cool guy.  So I poured myself a glass of whiskey and two sips later I'm a little buzzed.

"Two sips?", you might ask.  Well fuck you.  See the thing is, I didn't eat dinner and the way my metabolism works is....fuck.  Who am I kidding.  I guess I'm just a lightweight.

Recently, I went to a "Hawaiian" restaurant with some friends for lunch.  First off, this Hawaiian joint has a Caucasian dude cooking our shit.  There goes the authenticity of our food.  But what the fuck am I complaining about?  It's not like they have Chinese people cooking my shit at Panda Express.

Anyways, long story short, this bitch took 30 minutes to give us our microwaved ass food.  It takes 3 and a half minutes to cook delicious Kraft's Mac and Cheese at home in the microwave, but it takes this fuck nut 30 minutes to microwave shitty Hawaiian food?  Wow.  The owner of Maui Wowee can take that stupid Hawaiian shirt of his, put it in his low powered microwave, set that shit to 30 minutes, then shove it up his ass.